Saturday, September 10, 2011


There's good news and bad news- the good news is Gwyneth Paltrow dies in the first few minutes, but the bad news is that she resurfaces in flashbacks, so don't get all relaxed thinking she's gone for good. Unless you've been in a cave, you know this is about the next great epidemic. And since Matt Damon is in it, you are going to find out that pharmaceutical companies are evil and the people who run the CDC are selfish bastards who would only treat their families first. So take a deep breath and go on in anyway. The first 30 minutes start out great- you just can't WAIT to see where this is headed. Well, it's headed nowhere. I don't care what other critics say because they will be kept from pre-screenings if they don't like Paltrow and Damon. But since the Flickerchick cannot be bought, I'll tell you the truth. It veers into the ridiculous- with a kidnapping that would be useless in reality- I mean, who would care if one CDC worker was hijacked if 70 million people were dead? What's one more? Epidemics are mother nature's way of thinning the herd- it is unfortunate but true. Vaccines are not made in a day, a week, or a month- they take a year. There are no short cuts, except in cinema land. Conveniently, the president is NOT shown because, well, the president is not an evil Republican. SO, lots of cinema and not much verite. Logistically, it has stupid twist at the end- Marion Cotillard is kept from knowing what village she has been taken to, so how can she return to it? It's almost as ridiculous as Jude Law's ("Blimey I'm a Brit") fake tooth.  My partner in crime thought it sucked. As a certified Registered Nurse (I have the license to prove it) who had to take epidemiology and memorize all that stuff, I thought parts were hilarious and ludicrous.  If you think this is a great movie, you should read a few great books on influenza or the plague. It's far better that way.